Attend a funeral or memorial service

Funeral and memorial services can be difficult events to attend. They are all unique and you may be unsure of what to do or say. Shoalhaven Bereavement Services hope to provide some general information that can be applied to most services.

Occasionally, services are closed to extended family and friends. Any services advertised on the Upcoming Services page of this site can be attended by all. 

Getting ready

Many funeral or memorial services no longer require people to wear black clothes. In most cases wearing tidy and conservative clothes in subdued colours is best.
Some services ask those attending to wear something that is meaningful to the deceased. In those cases, the notice from the funeral director should provide that information. 

Pack tissues if you think you may need them and if you are speaking, be sure to have a copy of your speech. 

If you think you may need assistance on the day, arrange for someone to attend the service with you for support.

Transport

Check the location of the service on the Upcoming Services page. Some services may be located in a church or event space outside of the Shoalhaven cemeteries, followed by a graveside burial within a cemetery and an after service gathering at another location. Others may all take place within the Shoalhaven Memorial Gardens and Lawn Cemetery in Worrigee. Ensure that you arrange transport appropriately for the location. 

Extensive on-site parking is available at Shoalhaven Memorial Gardens and Lawn Cemetery in Worrigee. Limited on-site parking is available at the other cemeteries

Google maps can assist in providing directions and expected transportation times for different modes of transport.

On the day

Turn off or mute your mobile phone as soon as possible. 

Try to arrive at the venue 10 minutes prior to the service. This will allow you time to find a park, walk to the service location, greet the family and friends and meet with others that you would like to sit or stand with.

If attending a service at the chapel, the first rows are generally reserved for immediate family, speakers and very close loved ones. These are the individuals that will also leave the chapel first when the service ends. If you don't fall into this category then continue to fill the other available space. It's best not to leave empty rows.

Please note that larger services may require that some people stand at the back of the chapel or outdoors. In those cases, please ensure that seats are provided to those who require them. 

Get comfortable prior to the service beginning. If you will require a chair for the length of the service, a toilet visit or would like tissues or water, speak to the Shoalhaven Bereavement Services staff or the funeral director.

Join in with the service if you can. Singing, moments of silence, placing of items on the coffin or lighting of candles are a few examples of things that you may be asked to participate in. There is generally no obligation to do anything you are uncomfortable with.